Chronicles of a Procrastinating Novelist Volume 3: 20 Thoughts Upon Viewing my Photo Shoot for New A

*Thanks to Dawn Orr, Donna Wilson, and Gina Aldrich for dressing me up, taking the pics, making me smile and feel pretty. And thank you to my Dad for the magnificent camera.

Oh. Dear. God. I’m. So. Fat.
Seriously, what have I gained, 10 pounds for every manuscript?
Okay. That smile is okay. Smiling is good.
Well, maybe I’m just stiff and unphotogenic.
Ooof. Nope. Wide as a house.
Suck it up princess. Go on a diet later. You need to take down your decade old profile pics.
Thank God for friends with a sense of humor. I would’ve been fat AND awkward in these things.
Fall is the best season ever. Look at those trees.
Maybe the trees will distract from the breadth of my behind.
Arrgh! Enough with the fat comments. I'm beautiful. Chubby. But beautiful.
I can’t decide if these train track shots are picturesque or, “Why is this moron walking on train tracks to look cute?”
Ah! Thank you Dawn for fixing my hair! The hipster bun had to go.
When one is not a model, one should invest in the aid of friends. Genuinely epic company makes for genuinely beautiful smiles.
I’ve had a conversion on the “leggings aren’t pants” stance. As long as one’s butt is covered by an oversize sweater, anyway.
Again with the fall light. Look at that light. I swear God is a painter.
The smiley ones I can put on Twitter. I read an article about smiley profile pictures garnering more followers. Somebody did a study. Who funded that?
I love cemeteries, and you can tell it in these shots.
Now that’s perfect for the author of a novel starring a psychic empath ghost hunter. And his dog.
So overall, I need to dump about 100 of these, but the remainder really is pretty decent.
Yay! I have new profile pics! Now time to go eat salad.